


Abduction

by StormyBear30



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 11:23:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6327061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life changes for both Reid and Morgan after an abduction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Criminal Minds fiction. I hope I did the characters justice.

He’s dying, we both are and as much as we tried to fight it at the beginning the sad matter is there isn’t anything else we can do or anything left to fight for. We’ve been here a long time, how long I don’t know but long enough that we both know our time is near. It feels like we’ve been stuck in this hell for months when it could only be weeks and yet neither of us are closer to figuring out who it is that brought us here or why. The room is so dark that you can’t see anything in front of your face and as much as I try not to think about it, it is starting to feel less and less like a room and more like a grave. When we were first brought in Reid would chatter on about everything and anything in order to occupy the time while we waited for our team, our family to come and rescue us but eventually that chatter has died done to nothing. Time means nothing to us anymore but it feels like days since I’ve heard his voice and it scares me because I know he’s come to the same conclusion that I have in that those same people won’t ever be able to find us.

“You still with me Ried?”

“We've been here for a long time” He answers with a full body shudder as I pull him into my arms and try to warm him. It's a wasted effort since I am just as cold as he is but his closeness brings me some comfort and I hope it brings him some as well. He's never been a touchy feely person and even fought me when the food and water stopped coming and a bone chilling coldness seemed to inhabit our surroundings. His avoidance didn't last long though and eventually we pretty much spent all our time wrapped within each others arms. “We've been down here a long time” He whispers again as he lays his head on my shoulder and leans into my body. I have no words for him because I already know what he is thinking because I am thinking the same thing.

“Do you regret that you let the job keep you from falling in love, from starting a family?” He questions as he pulls away from me. I can feel his eyes on me even though I can't see them through the pitch darkness.

“You know I don't believe in regrets” Is my attempt at an arrogant response but it only comes out as sad and dejected. Another heavy silence falls over us. “Yeah I have a few” I finally break that silence because I know we are both going to die and because out of anyone I know that even if we weren't he would take them to the grave. “I wish I would have spent more time with my sisters and mother” I begin, a burn to my eyes as I try to remember the last time I saw them. “I always wanted to travel more…go to Japan, India, Italy”

"Yeah..." I hear him nod before the silence is back.

“What about you…any regrets?” I ask, generally curious because as long as I have known him he truly never seemed to have any.

“A few” I hear him say with an unsteady breath. “Like you I've always wanted to travel more, wanted to visit certain places and learn as much as I could about their cultures. I regret that I could have been more confident in life, not always a nervous neurotic idiot”

“You’re not a nervous neurotic idiot” I lie because from the moment I met him be truly was and where at the beginning it was very annoying it actually became quite endearing the more I got to know him.

“Your nice for saying that but I really always have been” He laughs softly but there is no humor to it. “However my biggest regret is that I never got to be the real me, never got the chance to explore the other side of my sexuality”

“Did you just come out to me Reid?” I ask, not as shocked as I expected to be.

“Kind of…” He answers weakly as I feel him pull away from me even further.

“Don't you pull away from me” I say gruffly as I reach out and grab for his arm, tugging him back until he is pressed up against me once again. “You know damn well that I don't care if you are gay or not”

“I wouldn't say that I was gay. I've just found myself attracted to certain guys from time to time” He explains as a shudder runs through his entire body yet again, his face hidden in the folds of my neck. “I hid that part of myself away because people were already uncomfortable with me so why add another oddity. I just regret that I never got to experience what it would be like to be held by a man…to kiss a man”I want to point out that I have been holding him off and on since we have been brought here but I keep my mouth shut because I know it isn't what he is longing for.

Before I even know what I am doing I find myself running my hand through his greasy hair, tilting his head back and searching for his lips. His lips are chapped and dry and his mouth taste stale but it doesn't stop me from kissing him even harder when he tries to pull back. He hesitates for a moment before he gives up and allows me to kiss him again. “That was amazing” He gasps for breath when we finally have no choice to pull apart. “I always knew it would be”

“You've thought about kissing me before?” I question in shock but the shock quickly turns to panic as his body falls forward. “Reid” I cry out as I shift him backwards as his head jerks back like a rag doll.

“Of course. Garcia isn't the only one who thinks you are a chocolate God” He replies and I can hear the smile in his words despite the fact I know he's about to leave me. “Thank you” Are his last garbled words before I hear the final breath leave his body.

“NO…NO…NO…” I scream before the room that has been our home for god knows how long floods with light and frantic voices. I don't know what is going on or who they are as I clutch Spencer's dead body against my own and allow everything to drift away.

I can hear voices but I can't make out anything they are saying. I try to open my eyes but they feel as if they are glued shut. I try to move, to speak but my entire body feels as if it is paralyzed. I don't know where I am or if I'm even alive as the voices grow louder. Everything is starting to feel so real, is starting to feel more alive as an aching pain inhabits my entire body. The voices continue to grow louder as I frantically try to figure out where I am and what is going on. “Reid…” I hear one of the voices say so clearly that it jerks me back to reality as my eyes burst open only to slam back shut at the burst of white light that burns them. “Derek…” I hear another voice say my name but I keep my eyes sealed shut because the reality that I am alive and Reid is dead washes over me. The pain and the anguish is too much to deal with as I feel myself float off into a peaceful oblivion once again.

When I wake up again the room is dimly lit and somewhat quiet. I know I'm not alone though as I turn my head painfully to the side and see my mother standing there. “Welcome back baby” I hear her say and before I can say a word the pain of Reid’s passing washes over me once again and I break down sobbing in a way I've never cried before. I can only cry harder as my mother sits down beside my bed, takes my hand and begins to sing to me songs from my youth. Eventually I drift back off to sleep with images of Reid playing over and over in my mind.

I wake up again to voices and as I open my eyes I can see they belong to a man in a white coat who I assume is a doctor and Agent Hotchner. “Mr. Morgan, I am Dr. Sanderson and I am the Doctor that has been treating you since you arrived here” He confirms my suspicions as I close my eyes for a moment and try and compose myself. “Can you tell me what day it is Mr. Morgan?” He questions me as I open my eyes and stare at him as if he's lost his mind because I have no earthy idea what day it is nor do I care.

“Hotch…” I croak because my throat is to dry to do much else. I hope he hears the plea in my voice because I just can't bare to deal with the Doctor or any of his questions.

"Dr. Sanderson, I'm not sure if you are aware but Agent Morgan was kidnapped along with another Agent nearly three weeks ago so I'm am sure you understand that he probably has no idea what day today is” He says as I close my eyes once again, thankful that he was able to read me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't aware. My apologies” The Doctor says but I ignore him as I lock eyes on Hotch once again.

“He was locked in what only can be described as a dungeon with no food and water. The fact of the matter is we haven't had a chance to speak to him or the other Agent so we have no idea what other forms of torture they may have sustained as well”

“Reid…” I cry out as loud as I can, coughing and choking in a way that causes me to lose my breath and makes me feel dizzy.

“Nurse” The Doctor cries out as he rushes towards me along with two nurses.

“No…” I rush out as one holds me down and the other Doctor and the other nurse rush around me doing God knows what. “Reid…” I cry out again my eyes locked on the suited man across the room before darkness converges on me yet again. When I wake up I find Hotch sitting in the chair across from my bed appearing deep in thought. “He's alive?” I ask, my throat sore from the tears I am trying to hold back.

“He's in a coma but he's alive” He responds and I don't know if I should be worried or relieved at the look on his face as he says it. “It's medically induced due to the fact that his body had completely shut down. The Doctor’s feel his chances of survival may increase because of this but he's not out of the woods by any means ” He goes on to explain but he doesn't really have to because I felt the last breath leave Reid’s body so I already know why his body had shut down. “I know you've been through a very traumatic situation but I need you to tell me exactly what happened. I need to know how you ended up being abducted and what you endured during this time Derek. I know it's too soon but I need to know why two of my best Agents are here right now and one of them is fighting for his life”

I really don't want to talk about any of it but I know how this works as I take a deep breath and prepare to relive the horror once again. “Are they dead?” I ask because there is nothing more that I want in this world than for the two scumbags that brought this on us to be dead.

“They are dead?” He assures with a nod as he fully focuses on me once again with patient yet worried eyes.

Flashback...

The fact of the matter is that I have no idea who did this to us. Reid had called me early the morning of our abduction and asked if I would be able to pick him up due to the severe rain storm we were having. He usually took mass transit and then walked the rest of the way to work but I couldn't blame him that morning for not wanting to walk in such a mess. We were driving in silence listening to some random talk radio channel he wanted to listen too when all hell broke loose. I don't remember much except something large slammed into my truck , the sounds of metal and pavement creating a noise that I won't ever forget and then the shattering of glass. I must have passed out because when I came to Reid and I were in a small dirt laden room. He was sitting beside me with a look of pure concentration on his face and I knew he was trying like hell to figure out where we were and who had done this to us. Afterwards we searched for hours trying to find any means of escape but came up empty handed despite our efforts. There were no windows and the only light we had was a single light bulb dangling from the ceiling. There were two of them but not once did we ever see their faces due to the masks that they wore. They never spoke no matter how hard Reid and I tried to get them too so there was no way to try speech recognition on them. In the beginning they fed us and made sure we had water, they even cleaned out the large water pail they expected us to use the bathroom in , but their good graces didn't last for long. Not long after that the beatings and torture started and then little by little the food and water dried up. Reid and I kept each other sane talking about everything and anything but eventually even the words fizzled up until there was more and more mind numbing silence around us. We never said it out loud but as days turned into nights and then is a blur of timelessness we little by little gave up hope of being rescued.

End Flashback…

Hotch says nothing as he once again appears deep in thought. “They sought you and Reid out on purpose” He finally says, his brow burrowing even further. “They were the sons of two separate serial killers that you and Reid were the primary Agents on. Each of their fathers were killed after each was tracked down. They somehow found each other and devised this plan to make the two of you pay”

“They tried to kill us because their scum bag fathers were killed for being killers?” I yell my voice stronger due to the incensed anger coursing through me. “If they weren't already dead I would make them suffer the way they made Reid and I suffer” Closing my eyes I take a deep breath and swallow down the anger because they are dead and don't matter any more. All that matters is that Reid and I both recover from this and move on. “I want to see him” I say but I can tell by the look on his face that my request is about to be denied.

“They aren't allowing any one to see him now. I’ve spoken to his Doctor several times today and I'm not going to lie to you, there is a good chance that he may not make it” I can only nod when I only want to punch him in the mouth for saying those words.

“He has to make it Hotch…he just has to” I finally allow the tears I have been holding back to flow. He says nothing but in a move so unlike himself he crosses to my bedside, takes my hand and allows me to do so. I know he understands what I am going through because we are family and love each other very much. It goes without saying really that when one of us hurts we all do as well.

“I need to get the hell out of here” I demand a week after being admitted to the hospital, my wounds and injuries somewhat healed. “I need to see Reid” I say as I pace back and forth in front of my mother, Hotch and Garcia. I have tried all week to see him but have been thwarted each time with one excuse or another. It isn't that I don't believe they are lying when they say he is alive and out of his medically induced coma but I have to see it for myself in order to truly believe it.

"I know you do but remember he's still recovering from what happened to him” Garcia replies with a small giggles do where once I would find her endearing I am only annoyed now.

“I do remember what happened to him because what happened to him happened to me too” I yell as I glare at her. “You forget that I was the one that held him in my arms as he took his last breath”

“I'm sorry” She whispers quickly in shock and with tears in her eyes. Hotch and my Mother say nothing as I begin to pace the room like a caged animal once again.

“I want to see him” I demand once again. I can feel all their eyes on me but I don't care because if I don't see him soon I can not be held responsible for what I do. The room is silent as the nurse comes in and discharges me. Once done I race from the room in search of finding where they are keeping Reid.

“Morgan” I hear someone call out behind me but I don't stop because I need to get to him. People are staring at me as I rush down the hallway looking in each window on a mission to find him. Relief coats me as I finally find his room but that relief turns to anger when a hand on my shoulder stops me from entering it. .

“Get off of me Hotch” I shrug his hand off as I reach for the door handle once again.

“We didn't tell you everything” I hear him say as he places his hand on my shoulder forcing me to turn around.

"What? What did you not tell me?” I demand as I look from Hotch to Reid who is resting in his hospital bed and back again. “What?”

“He has partial amnesia”

“What…what does that mean partial amnesia?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest and yet I'm not sure why.

“He remembers some of what happened to him but not everything” Hotch begins to explain. “He remembers you picking him up and the accident. He remembers some of your captivity but not much. Look Morgan, from what you've told me about your torture maybe it's for the best. He's not as strong as you are and…”

“The hell he’s not” I cut him off before he can finish his sentence. “You all think he's weak but in many ways he's stronger than all of us” I don't allow him to speak as I turn and enter Reid’s room. “You have no idea how happy I am to see your pretty face Reid” I announce as I move towards his bed. “And I know how much you don't care for touching but at this moment I really don't care” I say as I lean forward and wrap my arms around him. His normally thin frame is almost skeleton like and the memories of the ordeal we have shared washes over me once again. “You scared me so bad. I thought I had lost you” I whisper, closing me eyes and holding him a bit tighter when his arms wrap around me as well.

“It takes more then two crazy psychopaths to take me down” He quips but I can hear the fear in his voice as I pull back and take in the pale face staring back at me. I want to remind him that he literally died in my arms but I already know he's replaying that time over and over in his head like I've been.

I decide to lighten the mood as I reach behind me and pull up the single chair located there. “Not even kryptonite can bring down Superman”

“I'm far from Superman” He mumbles as he looks down at the hands laying in his lap.

“You're right” I counter as I reach out and take one of his hands into my own. “You're stronger”

"Hardly" He mumbles again as he tugs his hand away. I want to say something else but I let it go as I sit back in the chair and allow silence to surround us. I have a million questions for him, have so much to say but I know that he needs to be the one to initiate conversation or he won't speak at all. “I thought it would be different” He finally speaks after several moments of silence.

“What?” I question as I sit forward.

“Dying…I thought it would be different” He continues as he finds fascination with his hands once again. “Everyone who has experienced death talks about how peaceful and calming it is but it's nothing like that” He explains and then goes silent once again. “I can't really explain but it was anything was calming. It was like I could feel my entire body shutting down. The numbness started in my feet and moved up into my legs. I couldn't move…I had no energy so I was just waiting for the numbness to move onward. I was absolutely terrified because I knew that my death was eminent. You made my passing so much easier though” He says as he finally looks up at me. “If anyone is Superman it's you”

“I'm anything but Superman” I yell as I jump up so quickly that the chair goes flying backwards. “You died in my arms Spencer and there was nothing I could do about it” My breath is quick as I pace angrily back and forth. “Hotch said you had partial amnesia yet you seem to recall your death pretty well” I snap and it sounds like an accusation even to my ears. “I'm sorry” I apologize as I pick up the chair and sit on it once again. “Do you remember everything…the final conversation we had before…” I leave the sentence open because I don't want to speak the fact again that he died in my arms.

“They weren't lying” He says softly, avoiding my eyes as he does. “I remember you picking me up. I remember us arguing over what radio station to listen to. I remember the accident and the hole they kept us in. I remember bits and pieces of the torture they inflicted on us. I remember you holding me as I passed but I don't remember a conversation” He tells me as he finally looks up at me with a look of confusion. “What was the final thing we talked about?”

I don't know what to feel at those words because I can't stop thinking about the conversation we had and the kiss we shared afterwards. There is no denying that my feelings for Reid have changed but at this point I can't really explain exactly how they have changed. “It doesn't matter” I reply as I rub at me face. “All that matters is you get better and get back to work”

“Yeah…” He replies as he turns his head and stares off into the distance. “I'm tired” He says and I feel the dismissal like a slap across the face.

“Ok…I will stop by and see you tomorrow” I tell him as I exit the room and find the entire BAU team standing there. “I can't even deal with this right now” I throw my hands up in the air and walk away.

Two days have passed since my first visit with Reid. I know I should have come back sooner but my confusion held me back. As it is I’m still finding it nearly impossible to enter his room. I haven't stopped thinking about him and the kiss we shared. Last night I dreamt of Reid all night and in the beginning it was just about us sharing kisses but it eventually turned into full on sex and when I woke up I was hard as a rock and more confused than ever. The idea of making love to Spencer doesn't disgust me as I thought it would. In fact just the idea of touching him, kissing him, making love to him feels more right than anything in my life right now.

The entire team is surrounding him as they laugh and carry on as if just over a week ago their friend and team member hadn't died. Anger flashes through me once again but I push it away because he is alive and somewhat well and that is all that matters. “So this is where the party is” I yell as I enter the room plastering a smile on my face despite not feeling it.

"Morgan..." They all cry out as they bombard me with hugs and well wishes. I acknowledge them briefly but my eyes are locked on Reid. The smile that had been gracing his face when I came in is gone and in its place are pursed lips and nervous eyes. “It's good to see everyone” I turn my attention back to the group vying for mine. It's good to catch up with everyone but my eyes keep drifting to Reid who acts like he is part of the loudness but actually seems to be withdrawing.

“Excuse me everyone but visiting hours are over” I hear someone say as I turn around and find a Doctor and a couple of nurses standing in the doorway. Hugs and kisses are shared as one by one they exit the room until I am the only one remaining. “That includes you too” The Doctor says to me as she walks up to Reid’s bed.

“I'd like to stay for a bit more if I can. Reid and I have been through a lot and I just want to spend some alone time with him” I watch the way his eyes grow wide and his breath catches before he fake coughs and turns away from me. “Please” I pretend not to notice as I focus my full attention to the older Doctor and share a playful smile with her. “I'm sure we can break one little rule just this once” I'm flirting now and I can tell it's working at the blush that races across her face.

“Mr. Reid…is that ok with you?” She asks Reid and I can tell he's conflicted as he swallows hard but nods yes anyway. I sit back and watch as they examine him and do whatever else it is they do. “I will let the nurses station know I've given you permission to stay but only for a short while. Me. Reid needs his rest”

“Thank you Doctor” I beam at her, getting up and giving her a hug. She says nothing but her face turns red once again as she scurries out of the room. “Alone at last pretty boy” I turn my smile on him as I walk towards his bed and sit on the side.

“Boy you can wrap anyone around your finger can't you” He says and I can't tell if he's being playful or serious.

“Well if it's what it takes to get you alone than it was worth it” I tease as I reach out and take his hand. Like the Doctor he blushes and I can't help but smile because he really is too adorable.

“You don't have to do this” He says as he jerks his hand out of my hand, looking at me like I'm an annoyance.

“I don't have to do anything but I want too” My voice comes out harder then I intend it too but I don't understand why he is acting this way. “What we've been through I feel has brought us closer together” I soften my voice as I fight the urge to take his hand once again. “You died in my arms Reid and although you claim not to remember it we also shared a very special moment”

“I don't remember” He says quickly and I can tell he is lying by the way he avoids my eyes. “I don't feel so good. I think you should go. We can talk more later”

I want to fight him because I know he is lying but I also know that he doesn't need this stress when he's in the process of trying to heal so I let it go for now. “Ok baby. I wasn't trying to upset you. Get some rest” Leaning forward I kiss his cheek quickly before leaving him alone.

It's been nearly a month since Reid was released with a clean bill of health from the hospital and he's finally coming back to work. I've been counting the days since I've returned two weeks ago because I haven't had the chance to be alone with him since that final night I kissed him on the cheek. No matter how hard I tried to be alone with him, there was always someone else there. I can't say for sure if he said anything to the Doctor but also since that night no matter how hard I tried she wouldn't allow me to stay past visiting hours.

I know he's here by the loud uproar coming from the other side of the room. He looks nervous but happy as he's greeted with hugs and welcomes before moving over towards his desk. He's grinning like crazy as he notices the welcome back cake and gifts that surround it. “Welcome back Spencer” I say as I get up from my own desk and walk towards him. He says nothing as I hug him quickly before returning back to my desk. There isn't time for much else as Hotch calls us into the meeting room. The team has taken on a case and is headed out to California but Reid and I were have been back because we were both still on light duty.

“Are you done avoiding me?” I asked in annoyance several hours later. I have tried to talk to him several times during that time but he's alway had one excuse or another as to why he couldn't.

“I'm not avoiding you. I've been busy” He replies, not even bothering to look up from the file he's got in front of him.

“You've been staring at this same file for the last hour so trust me I know you are avoiding me. You know Reid this whole situation should have brought us closer together but ever since you were in the hospital you've been distant…been pushing me away. I'm over it so don't worry about me crowding you any more” He looks truly stunned, even a little hurt but I am so angry that I don't care as I storm off. I have no idea where I going as I rush across the parking lot towards my truck. .

I don't even look at him when I come back an hour later, ignoring the sad eyes he's shooting my way because as much as I want to apologize for my outburst I just can't. The fact is that I don't really know why I'm so angry at him or maybe I do. If I'm being honest with myself I'm still so confused about my new attraction to Reid and I just don't know how to handle it.

It's been a long afternoon and I'm ready to go home but something or someone keeps holding me back. We still haven't spoken a word and as much I want to stay angry with him I know that I can't. I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out what to do with my confused feelings and as a new and extremely beautiful intern walks by I come up with a plan. “Well hello beautiful” I flirt with the woman, making sure to play it up loud enough that Reid can hear. I know I have hit the mark as he stares at us with such sadness in his eyes that it breaks my heart. He averts his eyes when he sees me looking at him. He remembers, I know that he does as he gathers up his stuff and leaves in a hurry. The woman is completely interested but my mind is only on Reid as I excuse myself and follow behind him, but he's nowhere to be found as I enter the parking lot.

I'm even more confused as I sit in my truck parked across the street from his brownstone. I want to go to him and confront him about his lies but at the same time I don't know if I’m truly ready if he does admit he remembers our kiss and wants to try another. My mind is warring because as much as I feel I am open minded I'm not really sure I'm open minded enough to pursue a relationship with a male. I pull off without thinking because I need to think a bit more and yet just as quickly as I leave I find myself back parking in the same spot I just left. My heart is racing as I exit my truck and walk towards his front door because ready or not I need to know for sure where I stand with him and myself.

"What do you want Derek?” He questions me as he opens the door. He looks exhausted and sad and before I even know what I'm doing I grab onto both sides of his face and kiss him. His entire body is rigid and his lips are stiff but it doesn't detour me as I continue to kiss him even harder. My own body relaxes as I feel him melt against me, opening up to me even more.

“You…you lied to me” I stammer as I fight for breath once the kiss is over.

"I know” He responds, breathing just as heavily. He doesn't say anything else as he gestures for me to enter. My heart is beating like crazy and I know it's partly because of the kiss but mostly because I am totally stepping into the unknown here. “Do you want something to drink?” He asks as we enter the living room.

“I want to know why you lied about remembering our conversation... about the kiss we shared” I ask instead of answering.

“Because I know that you only kissed me that time because of the conversation we had and the fact that I was dying. Because I know that you are one hundred percent straight and it meant nothing to you” He retorts and there is anger in his words that piss me off and confuse me at the same time. “I was trying to make things easier for you because during my ramblings I leaked the one secret that I vowed I would never let anyone know…especially you”

“I don't know if I should hit you or kiss you again” I reply as I step forward and grab onto his arms and jerk him forward. The next kiss is hard and full of frustration on both our parts as we trip and stumble around the room, only breaking apart when I trip on something at my feet and nearly hit the floor. “We need to talk” I rush out, fighting for breath once again.

“Understatement” He responds, swallowing hard as he moves away from me and sits on a nearby chair. Taking the couch behind me we stare at each other for what seems like forever before he speaks. “I'm so confused right now” He says but to me he still looks sad as he crosses his arms around his chest and avoids my eyes.

“I know you are and honestly kid I'm confused just as much as you are” I tell him truthfully.

“Why?” He questions and I'm not sure if he's asking why I kissed him the first time or why I am here now. I know both deserve an answer regardless but if I'm being truthful I don't know if I really have one.

“I can't really explain why I kissed you that time. Maybe I was doing it because I had accepted the fact that we were both going to die and I didn't want you to die with such a major regret” I begin. “But maybe I did it because I wanted to know what it was like to kiss you Spencer. I've never really thought about being with a man like that before but if I'm being honest with myself there has always been something about you from the moment I met you”

“What?” He asks, his eyes totally focused on me.

"I don't know” I cry out as I get up off of the couch and begin pacing. “That's not true” I counter as I turn to face him. “I don't call you pretty boy for no reason” Closing my eyes I take a deep breath before I speak again. “You really are quit a striking man Spencer and you have such an endearing personality that I couldn't help but fall for you”

“Are you saying you are in love with me?” He asks, sitting forward in his chair, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide.

“Of course I love you” I tell him quickly because I do love him. I just don't know if it's the love of a friend or more. “I just don't know if it's the kind of love shared between lovers” He slumps back in his chair and I know I've screwed things up even more. “Spencer I'm going to be completely honest with you” I say as I kneel down before him. “I don't know what I feel for you but I do feel something. I'm attracted to you and I want to move forward into something more than friendship but at the same time it scares me to death because I've never felt like this about a man before. Maybe I just jumping the gun because I don't even know if you feel anything for me and...” He doesn't allow me to say anything else as he leans forward and kisses me. It's soft and sweet and makes me feel such joy over something so simple.

“Have you not figured out the secret yet?” He questions me with a soft smile. “For someone so smart you can be pretty dumb” He teases as he stares deeply into my eyes. “I've had the biggest crush on you from the moment I met you” His hands are warm and soothing as they press against the side of my head. “I just figured even if there was a chance you were into men that I wouldn't ever have a chance” He kisses me again when I try to speak. “I like you Derek…really like you and I'm willing to go as slow or as fast as you want”

“I'm just afraid I'm going to hurt you” I say because there is a huge chance that I might.

“I'm willing to take that chance” He replies with another smile before he kisses me once again. The kiss tells me much more then words ever could. He's in love with me and he's trusting me to not hurt him. I just hope that I'm man enough to not break that trust.

The End…for now. 


End file.
